What a summer!

Well, I don't really even know where to begin. The last 3 months have been a whirlwind. Some of the absolute best times and some of the saddest. As I type this I am getting a little weepy just thinking about it. I guess I will start from the beginning...
School got out May 29, just in time to celebrate Hannahkah. I was very pregnant and very ready for that baby to get out of me! I was pretty much miserable. Whoever said I would miss being pregnant was wrong. I much prefer my baby on the outside.
So June 1, Dad called me to tell me Nana had been put in the hospital that night, but she was ok. Just had some back pain. Of course, he was trying to keep me from worrying since I was 38 weeks pregnant. Needless to say I worried. She spent the next week in the CCU at Memorial. I went to visit almost every day. I pretty much spent my time at the hospital. She had blood clots and was not doing well. It was probably the worst week of my life. I didn't even have time to think about my upcoming delivery. All I wanted was for Nana to meet Lucas. But she was in so much pain. She kept holding on though.
The last day I visited her was Sunday, June 7. I knew as I left that night it would be the last time I saw her. I just held her hand and told her Lucas would be here soon.
Monday Dad didn't want me to come down to see her. She wasn't doing well, and everyone was very upset. Dad actually tried to tell me that they weren't allowing visitors, but he eventually told me the truth. Evan took me to Greenlife to try to get my mind off things and get excited about the baby. I truly could not get excited. I was so upset. We went home and relaxed on the couch and tried to get some sleep that night.

Tuesday, June 9 I went in to the hospital for my scheduled c-section. I was excited at this point and just ready to meet my little boy. But in the back of my head I was so sad. Mom met us at the hospital and they started prepping me for surgery. It happened so fast I didn't have time to think about the fact that I was about to be cut open! Evan and Mom both got to be in the room with me during the surgery, and at 7:51 am my life changed. Lucas was perfect, and my world had a whole new meaning. Dad and Evan's mom and grandmom were there waiting for us when we were rolled out. The next couple of days were a flurry of visitors. My family spent most of their time with Nana, which is what I wanted, but they came to see Lucas when they needed some happy time. Nana was moved to the hospice wing on the afternoon of the 9th. The doctors didn't think she would make it past that day. Dad was able to take pictures of Lucas and take them to her to show her her 12th great-grandbaby.

Early Thursday morning, around 1:30 or 2 am, I woke up from a dream about Nana. I knew she was gone. I just sat there and cried as Evan slept and Lucas was in the nursery. That morning I called dad around 8, and he told me. She had passed around 1:30 that morning. I knew her pain was gone, but it still killed me inside. I miss her so much. I still can't believe she's gone. But I know she is watching over us.

So that morning we were released from the hospital and made our first stop at Papa's house. He hadn't gotten to see Lucas yet, and we knew it would be good for him to see him. I really believe the timing of Lucas's birth and Nana's death really helped the family deal with her being gone. Lucas certainly helped me find some happiness in an otherwise depressing time. The next day we went to the visitation, and Saturday was the memorial service. It was very beautiful, and really captured what an amazing woman she was. I am so blessed to have had such a remarkable woman as my grandmother. I always looked up to her, and some of my happiest memories were made at Nana and Papa's house. I just hope I can be as good of a mom as she was.

So we truly experienced the circle of life this summer. I haven't even begun to explain the joy that Lucas brought into my life. He is absolutely perfect, and while there have definitely been some moments when I thought the sleep deprivation was going to kill me, it has all been worth it.

More later...Lucas is up and he's hungry!